The power to create or break a silence lies with them. Words are my weapons and words are my keys. I use them to lift me up. Lift me up higher and higher. Its like a cycle. I write when I’m happy and words make me happy. I don’t really remember when someone called me ‘stupid/dumb/dirty’ but I do remember when someone said ‘you inspire me/you’re amazing/I love you’. I choose the words that define me and words that make me happy.
A dangerous game. A game where I dance the delicate dance of truth and lie with myself. All the beautiful lies I’ve said have had a harsh truth hidden. I have lied only to avoid cutting the tie in every single relationship I shared. The lies I’ve said and the lies I’ve heard made me the stronger person I am today, no lesser than the truth did.
Nation, a fiction. Agreed-upon arbitrary collection of boundaries, customs, and laws. Nations change and fade. When I claim to be part of a nation, my thoughts and oneness get limited while my insecurities and fear get increased. I’m stuck. Between showing respect for the army. And fighting against the terrorists, bureaucrats and politicians. Inside my head.
I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know who’s next. I don’t know where next. All I know is that I’m ready to take a leap. Into the unknown. Sometimes a lesser known shoulder at an unknown place helps me know more about myself. Sometimes the risk of doing unknown things has given me some moments of bliss. Sometimes.