Paradigm shifts for a better life.

Arvind is a young 23-year old with big dreams, leading a happy life. A few months ago, this wasn’t the case. He went through unproductive lifestyle, unhappy times, unsatisfied career and unsuccessful attempts at being successful. He was part of that particular community of his generation where happiness was short-lived and contentment was never in the picture. He made a paradigm shift that changed his life for the good.

After jotting down those factors and wrong beliefs in his life that he had, he was gradually able to lead a content life and yet dream big. What were those factors and beliefs? There, you go.

The biased Social Media Life

Have you seen the picture of Earth from space? What a beautiful view that is!


But the reality is a lot different down here. However beautiful, the landscapes are, there is so much dirt and deforestation. We are still fighting wars and poverty. That’s how exactly life in real and social media are different.

Looking at all those happy pictures, updates and check-ins, he initially thought – Wow! What an amazing life everybody is leading, except him. In reality, that was a trap. People always portray only their best on social media, sometimes exaggerated, while their lives are just as similar as his.

The wrong comparison tool

He wanted to be the next Steven Gerrard at 20, the next Narendra Modi at 21 and the next Elon Musk at 22. Little did he know that, his skills and his perseverance were far below that of the people he compared himself with! He looked at his life and he felt depressed for being nowhere close, only in terms of success. Maybe he thought somehow he’d land in a beautiful life sooner with a coincidence of epic proportions and a colossal stroke of luck.


It was not just the successful people, he used to compare himself with folks around him and felt bad each time somebody achieved something more than him. It took a while for him to realize that every individual has different interests and different commitments. It was only after he realized that each day is an opportunity for a wonderful learning experience where he could learn to explore and experiment new things, his life became all the more happening.

Read – You’re only 23. Stop rushing life.

The Lack of Patience

He was part of the generation that desperately wanted to reap the fruit without sowing the seed. Or in fact, reap the fruit immediately after sowing the seed. He was living under the umbrella of illusion that hard work, failures, passion and commitment were the route to success only for the ordinary. He somehow felt he was extraordinary compared to most others just because he had won a few accolades and achieved a few things at an earlier age.

And that’s exactly why, when he failed at something small or when things didn’t happen his way, he started getting depressed and failed to understand that life had more to offer. It took him a while to realize that he needs to be more humble and that he needs to believe he isn’t any more special than the others on Earth but he is definitely capable of making his dreams come true. Maybe not in the immediate run, but definitely somewhere down the lane.

Read – Why generation Y yuppies are unhappy?

The fashion for criticizing others

Those who criticize the next generation fail to realize that they were the ones who raised it. Just like his previous generation criticized him – for sitting in front of a television set all the time, for not putting in as much hard work in studies, for wanting to be unique – his generation vehemently criticizes the next generation – for living in a virtual world, for not playing on ground during childhood but with mobile phones, for being social media addicts, for leading rebound relationships, and what not.


He realized how stupid each generation has been to criticize the next. Eventually, everybody tries to make the best of what they have. And he realized most such criticisms were just on thin air. Kids still play football on ground, youngsters are still loyal in their relationships and the world is still progressing relatively. He who criticizes others goes through tougher times because of the negative energy he surrounds himself with.

Read – Criticizing Generations

The Missing Tile Syndrome

Not having the perfect career, not being in the right relationship, not having the right physique, not travelling the world and not earning enough were his biggest concerns even before he turned 23. What a pity! What a pity! He told himself.  He, just like most others lived in an imaginary world where everyone believed beautiful looks, money, fame and successful career were the necessities for a perfect life. How wrong could he be!

When he started focusing more on what he had in his life – his friends, his parents, his achievements, his travel diaries and his skills – and started focusing less on the missing tiles – looks, career, relationships and money – his life changed drastically. He realized the power of gratitude and the beauty of living in the present moment. He started developing his skills and most importantly, he realized he has a long, long way to go.

The art of Over-analyzing

That feeling when your life is just the way you analyze it be or in fact over analyze it to be? Him neither. He analyzed and over-analyzed everything from the time he got up to the food he had and from the kind of conversation he would have in his imaginary world where he’d be dating his crush to the probability of his boss killing him. And because of his natural talent to over-analyze things, he believed his habits of waking up late, being unorganized, being jack of all trades and master of none were his biggest let downs in his path that lead him nowhere.


It was not easy for him to start appreciating things around him and to stop giving a fuck about things around him as much as he could. It took a great deal of time but his life got simpler.

Read – The subtle art of not giving a fuck

Yes, happiness is a choice and success is the best result but dark emotions and failures are just as beautiful and necessary in life.

ImageCredits – wallpapermania, bustle, goalhabits



2 thoughts on “Paradigm shifts for a better life.

  1. Have been reading your work for sometime now Arvind. I like the ‘ to the point ‘style. You’re subtle but still get across the learning without being preachy. Kudos to be able to share such personal experiences . Keep ’em coming 🙂


    • Hey Kshama,
      Such words of inspiration inspire me to write more. I’ve always believed that if I can connect with people through my stories and experiences, I’d be able to make a small difference in their lives. I’m glad I’m able to do so. Thank you once again for reading. 🙂


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