The Constitution of Indian Bro Code has been framed after seeking deep inspiration from true Bros, stealing blatantly from existing kickass Bro codes and jotting them down from experience.
There are 30 rules under the newly revised act. A Bro is expected to follow these codes with due respect.*
1. Bros DO NOT discuss the events of a party/weekend with non Bros. ALL conversations between bros are subject to “bro to bro confidentiality”.
Amendment 1 A.
A Bro found to have leaked the details to women will be considered a traitor and will be dealt with a serious interrogation.
2. When you realize a Bro is about to do something stupid, first you try to talk the Bro out of it. If the bro still wants to do it, you make sure you film it and make it public.
3. If a bro asks the question ‘Booze?’ the only acceptable response is ‘Booze.’, unless the frequency of the question hits more than 2 per week.
4. If two bros know the same story, the bro who is lesser known among the group shall tell it.
5. Bros wear their pants, jeans, trousers, shorts etc. above their ass.
6. When a Bro leaves his drink untouched, the drink becomes free and cannot be reclaimed if a fellow Bro has it. There is strictly no possession fight.
7. Bros only comment on a fellow bro’s fashion choice if that choice will affect the bro’s ability to impress a girl.
8. A bro NEVER under ANY circumstances can get with or even attempt to get with another bro’s girl.
Your bro’s crush, ex-girlfriend, future girlfriend and imaginary girlfriend by default become your sister like friend.
9. If a Bro asks you to keep a secret, you shall take that secret to your grave.
10. A Bro and a Brother are not the same thing. A brother is a bond but a BRO is an emotion.
11. A bro shall never start a sentence with “hashtag”. A bro shall not put up long facebook posts for another bro. A bro group shall not take a selfie pouting.
12. A bro will answer the phone call of another bro at any time of day for any reason.
13. A Bro can be part of multiple BRO groups.
A Bro of a Bro is a Bro to you. A Bro is open to get together two Bro groups, unless, two Bros from different groups are hitting on the same girl.
14. A Bro DOES NOT coin his own nickname. A nickname is bestowed upon by fellow bros, as a reward for epic and embarrassing deeds.
15. If your team beats your Bro’s team, or if you beat a BRO in a game, you have 24 hours to rub it in.
16. A Bro doesn’t listen to romantic music or break-up songs, in front of other Bros.
17. If you know your Bro is going through a break-up with a bitch, you don’t help him get back to her; you help him get over her.
18. If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his Facebook, the Bro will sign out for him, but only after many humiliating updates.
19. If a Bro accidentally strikes another Bro’s groin, both silently agree to act as if nothing happened.
Even in a fight to death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
20. Bros don’t let bros drive drunk or walk home alone. If a bro has no roof for the night, your door needs to be open.
21. A bro shall treat other bros with the same respect in the presence of girls, if not more.
Any bro may make fun of you. Any bro may show off in front of girls. Any bro who makes fun of you by showing off in front of girls can be shot.
22. If a bro doesn’t ask your opinion, you will give it anyway. That’s how we help bros improve themselves.
23. A bro is given one chance to tell a story, any repetition of story and you are not under obligation to listen.
Exception- if a bro gets lucky with a girl way out of his league, they are allowed to narrate the story for the rest of their life.
24. You only get one chance to recognise a new haircut/face-cut of a Bro, but infinite opportunities to take the piss out of it.
25. If a bro in your group is a virgin or a non-alcoholic, you’re allowed to tease the hell out of the bro but you shall not get him to do anything forcefully.
26. Any argument/ dispute between bros may last 2 days. After that, all bros involved are expected to drop it, without vengeance in mind.
27. It is not mandatory that a bro trip is planned every 6 months. It’s a necessity.
28. If bro doesn’t have money for the drink, you pay for bro and you don’t ask them to repay you. It is bro’s duty by default to treat you at a later time.
29. Girls are allowed to be a part of the bro group if they adhere to most of the above mentioned rules. A bro shall never engage in any intimate activity with a girl-bro.
30. Girls are allowed to form their own groups if and only if they are confident that they won’t bring a bad name to the ‘BRO’ tag.
Alternate options include, creating a sis code which nobody else will give a damn about, anyway.
*Terms and conditions:
Rules except 8, 21 and 23 can be broken at any time as per situation. If the three aforementioned rules are violated by a bro, they will be considered a disgrace, for the consequences might lead to another Bro quitting the group.
If you are a random dude/dudette, who took offence at the India Bro code and yet read it patiently, thank you.
If you are a self-proclaimed Bro and took offence, fuck you.
Note: The rules can be amended further on hearing suggestions, inputs and changes from experienced Bros.