Such bullshit and more.

You’re probably going to hate me for this.

Well, I used to believe in these things and took each word for granted. I, just like most other innocent beings, believed that my life will be dictated by these stupid things until I stepped outside and got to laugh at the stupidity.

I’m talking about those inspirational quotes that when you read you feel like you’ve hit enlightenment but it just takes common sense to understand that some of the quotes are certified bullshit of the highest order.

Well, I recommend you don’t read further because you might just find a quote that inspires you each day, a quote that you think made you successful or a quote that your ex read it out to you and on seeing that you might end up having moments of nostalgia followed by depression.

1.”When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo coehlo

What high-rated piece of shit! Do you really think the universe has been in existence for almost 13.7 billion years so that it can conspire to help you achieve something you want in a relatively negligible time-span called ‘your life?’ 13.7 billion years – write that number down, count the zeroes, take a breath and then come back to Earth.

The universe doesn’t give a rat’s ass about who the hell you’re or what you want. Don’t believe me? Do me a favour and go tell the universe that I would like to go on a date with Emma Watson on a Harley Davidson to Uranus tomorrow morning.

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2. “What goes around, comes around!” – Whoever the fuck said that.

I couldn’t stop laughing at myself thinking that I used to believe in this.

You broke up with someone because you didn’t like how the relationship was going forward. Karma will beat you down and treat you to hell.

You forgot to return the eraser you borrowed. Well, Karma will ensure someday someone will not return your eraser back.

I’d like to break that notion about Karma down into two parts:

If someone says they’d like to believe in Karma because a) it controls their moral compass and prevents them from doing crappy things to people who do crappy things to them. b) They believe Karma will take care of those people some day.

And I’d like to refute by saying:

a) You let something control your moral compass and you can’t take actions not because you can choose to be compassionate? Well! you’re on the wrong side of heaven, my dear. It takes to be a good human to be compassionate.

b) I hope your fantasy world is giving to lollipops to enjoy. Let me know when you get back to reality.

And they say Karma is a bitch. What a joke!

3. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. – Napoleon Hill”

I’d like to go back to my date with Emma Watson. Oh wait! I don’t see it happening even though my mind can clearly conceive and believe that. According to science, every thought is just made up of electro-chemical reactions and not magic.

Even if you prove me wrong, I just hope this never applies true to certain people. People who believe that if they blow up themselves along with a few others in the name of human mind-constructed myths so that they are sent to a magical land with an unreasonable amount of virgin concubines.

4. “No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his well-being, to risk his body, to risk his life in a great cause. – Theodore Roosevelt.”

And so said the ex-president of a country whose people took the risk to vote and elected their new president in the name of Donald Trump. Now imagine as per his belief if he decides to bomb half the world with nuclear weapons because “hey! it is worth taking a risk.”

Sometimes, I feel we overrate the term risk. Risk everything or you lose. The fact that you’re taking a risk states that you have a good 50% chance to succeed or fail. Risk isn’t the sweet side of achievement. What all of us try to do is play down the risk with calculations. And sometimes, the calculations might fail. Not my headache, if maths was your weak subject in school.

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5. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” – Audrey Hepburn 

How cute!

No! I’m not going to ask you to think about my date with Emma Watson once again. But I really think carrying Mt. Everest on my head, swimming naked across Pacific ocean from one end to another or getting you to make out with a chimpanzee is going to be impossible. At least, I’d like to think so.

I think as humans we can do better. A lot better.

 

ImageCredits – Quotefancy

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